


I'm A Monster After All

by hyacinthofatalis



Category: Aldnoah.Zero (Anime)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Character Death, Crossover, Ghoul!Slaine, M/M, OrangeBat, Slightlt insane Slaine, Teen Angst, human!Inaho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-12 08:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3350054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinthofatalis/pseuds/hyacinthofatalis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His head shook slightly, no he couldn't possibly lose control here. 'But if you don't feed soon, you'll lose more than your sanity.' a little voice in his head whispered.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Inner Conflict

**Author's Note:**

> Aldnoah.zero Tokyo Ghoul AU basically

Hunger pains hit and became unbearable, his vision began to blur. _'Food, meat'_ his mind kept repeating. He was losing focus of his surroundings. His head shook slightly, no he couldn't possibly lose control here. 'But if you don't feed soon, you'll lose more than your sanity.' a little voice in his head whispered. It might have been his inner ghoul, strange as that sounded, but he agree with those words. 

He was heading home from a study session, though Slaine still wondered why the pains had hit so suddenly. He had made sure to have some cups of coffee, not that it suited his taste however, just to keep his hunger down. 'Then why don't you call him. Call your precious Inaho.' No! Anything but that. He couldn't let Inaho see him in such a state; not after finding out how his parents had died. Even more importantly, Inaho was part of the CCG, though just a trainee at this point. Yuki, however, was an officer and would no doubt chase after him. Slaine shook his head, no he can't actually be thinking about going to Inaho. 

But his hunger .... It was reaching it's peak point. Adding to the fact that he couldn't control his kagune properly in this state; it'd nearly be bursting out now if he wasn't forcing himself to keep calm. Being out in the open, he had to get away from everyone; all the smells becoming one single scent of "food". He wanted to cry, but held in his emotions as to not draw anymore attention from other civilians. He was deathly pale now, it'd attract some attention, yet he didn't mind it too much as he was concealing himself within the shadows. 

Reaching an alleyway was as much as his energy as he could really exert. This was proving to bee more difficult than he thought; maybe he should have gone to look for food while he still had the chance and not end up in the poor state of his. He could feel his Rc cells moving; 'Could one feel their own cells in the first place he wondered?'Ah, was his hunger making him delirious as well that he began questioning his own being? Shaking his head a bit, he kept to the walls; they provided better support. Though the warmth on his other side was feeling pretty good though somewhat familiar. Wait. . . .Warmth... 

Though it took him a few minutes to understand that someone was next to him, aiding him as a crutch. His head lifted and he saw a very familiar uniform; one from the high school in which his darling Inaho was part of. Several things began running through his head. 'Could he let himself be seen in such a state?' 

_'What if he suddenly had his kagune come out?'_

_'What if Inaho found out the truth?'_

_'Would anyone miss him if he just ate him?'_

**'Ah, he looked so delicious.'**

_But what if people notice?'_

He allowed himself to be lulled by the warmth of Inaho slowly feeling as though his consciousness was leaving him in peace now. A tiny part of his brain sent signals as if to report that if he fell unconscious, he may never once more see whats precious. No, so many thoughts would still lulll him to sleep; he didn't want that to happen. Not if meant Slaine might never see Inaho ever again. He felt his body be dragged for a few seconds before he got lifted from the ground and into someone's warm arms. 

". .. So. . . .-rm..." 

His consciousness finally left him, leaving so many things vulnerable to his instincts.


	2. Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You never realize things until the end, don't you?

It was soft, wherever he could touch was soft and warm. No, there was a source of warmth behind him; it felt really nice and safe. Safe... 'Ah, that's how Inaho should be. Hopefully I didn't do anything or even lost my senses.' That's when he felt something iron like in his mouth. It was still a bit warm and he could tell it was also on his lips but he couldn't have...!! 

The mere truth of Slaine being a ghoul was something that had always scared him, moreso when he lost his father a few years ago. The sudden realization that it was blood on his lips and some still lingered in his mouth, it was enough to make him want to throw the bile that was beginning to rise in his throat. No, he couldn't have attacked someone; could he? It would make sense, but then why would he be in such a place with warmth? 

His eyes slowly opened, blinking several times to adjust to the lighting before him. The sun wasn't streaming through the windows but it was still light out. He glanced over to his shoulder and saw it had merely been Inaho spooning him; his heat source. With a sigh of relief, Slaine turned back and snuggled into the covers once more. 

_'Wait,'_ his thoughts finally dawned to him that Inaho was live and well and currently laying next to him. _'How can this be? Does he know? Is he aware that I'm a . . . Monster?'_ His eyes flew opened and he struggled to get away from the brunette. It was no use, however, seeing as his grip was very tight. With Slaine squirming around, Inaho groaned and buried his face between the blond's shoulder blades. "-op moving..." he mumbled. Slaine froze letting the other get comfortable once more before struggling again. "Let go! I don't want to hurt you!" Slaine desperately wanted to shout but his voice failed him. No, moreso it was himself that didn't want Inaho to let go; he wanted to know he wasn't alone even if just a little. 

Inaho squeezed Slaine a bit before getting up and turning Slaine's face towards his own. "Say, Asseylum-san was pretty worried about your well being. Though she was the one who helped you feed..." His voice became a bit quieter towards his last statement, and Slaine realized his secret he never wanted him to figure out, was found out so quickly, without his saying. He wanted to hide, maybe even die but Inaho never ceased to surprise him. "But it doesn't matter now. I'm glad you're out of danger, you really had me worried." Though his face was mostly devoid of emotion, his eyes were swimming with many different emotions. Ah, it hurt to look at him a little bit; he made his precious person worry. It seemed normal enough, yet there was a tiny part of him that felt this was wrong, just incredibly not real. 

Slaine ignored this feeling as he lifted himself up and hugged Inaho, burying his face on the crook of his neck. He wished for moments like these not to end, but everything has to end sometime, even if we don't want that to happen. 

The entire day was spent at home, Inaho claimed it was just a precaution since Slaine was still recuperating. It didn't bother Slaine, it was nice to relax after so long. Still, something kept nagging him. It was too calm even for a day of relaxation. Usually he'd have gotten a few messages from friends or some from other classmates on upcoming events and class activities but nothing had been seen today. Now that he thought of it, he hadn't even seen his or Inaho's phone anywhere; it was extremely odd and just too strange.

He paused as he opened the fridge. It was really only to keep appearances yet it was stock full of food, though the freezer was another story; it was supposed to be filled with meat but alongside it there were now a few tubs of icecream. Slaine wanted to bang his head on a table or somewhere or just fet someone to tell him why everything felt so off, rather looked off. He couldn't put his finger on it though. The metallic taste was back in his mouth and his head began to hurt. 

Nothing was making sense anymore and it just confused Slaine so much. The headache began to intensify and he could no longer stand and fell to the floor as his knees weakened. His eyes widened as the metallic taste grew and it was something he had become so accustomed to before: blood. _'Why? I haven't eaten any meat lately, or at least I don't think so.'_ No, if he thought about it, there had been slight changes. 

He turned hoping Inaho could help with his memory problem, only he didn't find Inaho. He had just been near only moments ago, for him to disappear so suddenly was just a bit too weird, even for Inaho. Slaine paused in his thoughts. Strange... It appeared he was getting a bit repetitive; could it be an effect from his headache. Thinking about it just made him squeazy and more ill than he already felt. His vision began turning red and blurred out. Slaine curled into a ball and let his hands curl themselves on his hair. His fingers furled and unfurled as he pulled on it. It didn't add more pain, if anything it seemed somewhat calming. His eyes began to wander around as he raised his head. He didn't find anything out of the ordinary but a smell hit his senses quickly. It was... what was it? Ah, it was like everytime he went to feed; a somewhat sweet but delicious smell. Almost like the smell of... _blood_. No, it couldn't be. 

_'Well you haven't seen darling Inaho since awhile now._

'No, I won't accept this, I would have never done something like that.' 

_'Are you so sure? After all you are,'_

'SHUT UP!!' 

_'A monster'_

Slaine's inner turmoil had led to this insanity. He made his way to their bedroom, the smell only becoming stronger.. Could it really be only his mind playing tricks or was it reality? Slaine could no longer identify anything. 

The door opened and Slaine fell to his knees. No, it couldn't be... tears broke out from his eye; he could no longer hold them in. 

On the bed, laid a lifeless Inaho. He sobbed, not caring anymore. 

"I guess it is true then. I really am a _monster_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys should know tears were shed for this, lots and lots of feels among other things.  
> Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, this wasn't expected. A few tears were shed, but all in all, I'm so frickin' proud of this. Ah, I am not done but the next part should be better. But really, imagine Slaine as a ghoul.  
> Also, please note this will only have 2 chapters, though it was originally just one.  
> Thank you, and I really hope you read the next part once its out.


End file.
